Long Time No Post!

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Where to even start???

I apologize for neglecting this little blog! I honestly do not have a good reason why. I have been pretty busy, but I wouldn't use that as an excuse! I think I am really focusing in on how to navigate this post cancer life, and part of that has been taking a step back from this blog. I know I have never been super regular in posting, but I also am not ready to totally give it up. As I do with everything, I am taking it day by day! I'll post when I feel the need to, but if you need updates, I would like my FB page! I am a little better about updating there! 

So my last post left off right before the one year anniversary of my diagnosis. The anticipation of the was actually a lot worse than the actual day. I did do the whole "last year at this time" thing a bit, but it wasn't as traumatic as expected. I went into the school for the morning then my mom and I got lunch and pedicures. It was a nice day, much better than the day had been the year before!

The weekend after the anniversary, my mom and I jetted off to Hawaii! My mom's cousin and his wife graciously offered us a trip all the way out west, and we had a GREAT time! It is gorgeous there! It was nice to get away and relax in a new setting. It was also nice to not have to worry about going somewhere! We did a lot of relaxing on the beach and eating! It was a bit hard at first as it was the first time I had put on a swim suit in over a year. The constant reminder of my scar was a bit unsettling...I can't say I love it, but I know as time goes on it will get better. I would LOVE to go back when I am a bit less limited...I am not really able to swim and we couldn't do any pretty hikes because I'm still not 100% in walking on uneven surfaces. It was the longest I had been away from home since everything. I missed Stanley so much, but it has been COLD here in Greenville since we got back, so I would love to be back in Hawaii! 

Right before we left, I was accepted a part time nannying job! It has been really nice and I am really enjoying it! I nanny 3 days a week, so I still go to the school the other two. It is a nice balance, and seriously keeps me busy! I may not always want to wake up early and go, but I do appreciate that I can! I always try to remember that this is what I wanted a year ago.

I still have PT, but am down to two days a week. Thankfully the nannying job is flexible so I can still go to my appointments. I have made tremendous progress, but my balance and strength still need work. It wears my leg out, but I know it is good! I will look forward to the day I don't have to go anymore!

My hair is seriously coming in! It is just now getting a little curl to it, which should be interesting. I don't really know what to do with it! I like the low maintenance of it, but I do miss my length! It is funny though, I get compliments on my "haircut" at least once on every errand I go on! I don't say that in a braggy way at all, but I think it is so funny! The flight attendant on the flight to Hawaii complimented me and so did an old man sitting next to me when my friend and I got pedicures! I really appreciate it because I can't say I love it yet! I am glad really glad to have hair and have it look "on purpose" again! 

I am speaking at Clemson's University's Relay for Life this Friday. I still have to write what I am going to say, but I am looking forward to the experience! I am not someone who does a lot of public speaking, so fingers crossed I can do it! Put me in a classroom of kids and I have no problem, but put me in front of my peers and I freeze up!! Hopefully I won't, and even if I do, no one is gonna be the one person to laugh at my speech about my experience with cancer!

I will have my scans this Thursday (the 14), and I will meet with my doctor on Monday afternoon. It is going to be a LONG weekend! I will have a bone scan and a CT scan of my lungs. The CT scan is super quick (although they give you this contrast that makes it feel like you wet your pants! Gross, but that seriously is what they tell people and they are right!). The bone scan takes awhile because they have to give me dye through an IV and then I get to come home for three hours while the dye runs its course. Then we go back (luckily this happens at the hospital closer to our house!) and have the scan which is an hour or two. It is a long day! They schedule the scans for me, which I don't love (not just because it messes up my work schedule), but because I was hoping to avoid the weekend of waiting (my doctor doesn't work Fridays). I have peace about them, but can't help but be anxious. These are my first scans I have had since being off treatment this long. I truly am thankful for any good thoughts/prayers/wishes you can send my way! I would also appreciate any of those things for peace of mind while waiting :). I am hopeful it will all be well, but the unknown is so scary. It makes me sick to think about too much! That one meeting could change my life so drastically...I am praying my life looks the same at this point next week as it does right now! 

I cannot really think much past scans at the moment! My brain just kind of stops there. I will (hopefully) be so relieved once they are done. Please pray for good news!

I feel like I had so much more to say...that's what I get for trying to summarize everything in one post! I have a lot on my mind right now about a lot of different things. This post treatment world is great, but also different. I thought I had the mostly completed picture of what my future would look like (well at least the next few years), but cancer changed that. My puzzle was severely messed up and now pieces are missing and I have new ones on the table, but I am not sure how they fit. Hopefully I can figure it out once I get scans overwith! I feel like I am living my life in three month increments this year. Once I get this set overwith I get three more months (prayerfully) which sounds so good!

I promise to keep y'all updated about the results. I also will try to post here at least once or twice a month. I kind of like it as a record to look back on too!

Thanks again for all the love and support over this last year. I could not have made it without it! I hope everyone has a great rest of the week! 

I will leave you with some pictures!

I got new furniture so while I was putting my drawers back together, Stanley thought he would make himself comfortable :)
View from the balcony of where we stayed!