Throughout this ordeal, there are obvious dates that stick out. March 16-D-day aka the worst day ever. April 27 was my first chemo treatment. August 18 was my surgery.
December 22.
The day I am scheduled to FINISH chemo.
I hesitated in even sharing this until it gets closer in fear of jinxing it, but then I realized I don't think I truly believe in that sort of thing anymore (not that I really did before...but you know what I mean).
My doctor's head nurse (she does the managing aspect of treatment, etc) came to visit me in the hospital last Wednesday. It was a total surprise, especially because she had been out of town (she literally got off the plane and came to the hospital to see me...she is awesome). We were not expecting her to show up!
So she comes in and sits down. I was trying to figure out why she would be here, but didn't think too much of it. She then goes "we need to talk about something" and I started to get worried. Those aren't exactly words I like to hear! I got nervous and she continued by saying "we need to talk about how we are gonna finish!". I think I smiled almost immediately out of pure relief and hearing the words "finish".
She wanted to know if I wanted to have my outpatient chemo, as scheduled, this week since it is Thanksgiving. While I appreciated the option (and I did consider both sides), I want to stay on track! She said she had a feeling I was going to pick to continue, so she wanted to come see me and make sure I was feeling well enough to.
I love Thanksgiving probably more than the average person, but I want to get to the end of chemo even more! I had another ECHO Friday and the previous issue that gave us a scare back in October has resolved itself and my number went back up (all good! really good!), so thankfully chemo will continue on schedule. This will be the first time I will only get the one drug, so my time there will be shorter and hopefully I won't feel as crappy. I figure the worst case scenario is that I will have to lay on the couch while everyone else bustles around the kitchen :). Either way, all my family will be together and that sounds like the best medicine for everything!
I know everyone wants to know exactly how much I left. This regimen is extremely confusing, so I will do my best. I will get outpatient chemo this week (the 23 and 24). I then have next week (the week of the 30) off to recuperate. I will be inpatient the week of the 7 for however many days and then again the week of the 14 for however many days. After that, I am DONE being inpatient! I will then get outpatient chemo the 21 and 22 and be DONE! Of course we are hoping nothing comes in and throws this schedule off because it sounds pretty dang good! I need to just make sure to stay away from any sickness and stay healthy.
The light is truly at the end of the tunnel! I am not going to lie, sometimes I am not able to see it that way. I still have quite a few chemo transfusions in my future. I still have 6-12 days in the hospital (total over the next two rounds...hopefully it is 6!). I still have four days of several hours at the chemo clinic. Plus, all the lovely side effects are still in my future, which is the worst part. So while things are wrapping up, it isn't over until it is really over. I know what I have left is nothing compared to what I have already done.
Backing up to my nurse visiting in the hospital (I will call her S), it was such a positive meeting. I am so very aware (especially in the hospital) that not everyone gets to have conversations like I do. She was asking me how I am going to celebrate being DONE. She kept saying how she will miss us because my visits will start to become more spread out and how next year at this time I will be celebrating a year being done. I am so very grateful to be hearing these things and I don't take that for granted for a second.
My nurse last week was saying that some people get continuous Methotrexate as in a 24 hour drip. Who knows how long it takes to clear those levels, but I imagine it isn't quick. She also said another regime requires the patient to eat/hold ice in their mouth for TWO hours! The nurses have to wake them up so they can eat ice for two hours. Some people also get chemo injected into their spine, which I can't imagine is comfy. Really a few days in the hospital isn't the worst thing in the world. I could not imagine having to spend 30+ days here. Some people do months and months of chemo only to be expected to relapse in the future. I keep those people in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you will too. Cancer is a seriously crappy disease (as if that needs to be said).
I apologize for my lack of posting here. I have actually written three posts, just haven't felt "right" (whatever that means) about posting them. I like what they have to say, so hopefully I can figure out when it feels right to post them.
I had my my three month follow up with my surgeon this morning. We spent more time waiting then we did with him! He walked in the room, said I looked great, and told me he would see me in a year. Yes, I have graduated to only seeing him once a year! He was amazed that I am able to bend and stretch my leg as well as I am (basically like normal). He said sometimes it takes people years and years to get back to that point. It made me happy to hear that! It is crazy to think that his office is where this whole mess started and today we walked out of there only to have to come once a year. I am forever grateful for him and all he has done for me...he is a great surgeon, but I am happy to only have to see him once a year :).
I obviously have a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving. I thought about trying to list it all (and I still may try), but that would be an extremely long list. Obviously good health is major, and I am thankful to be back in that (for the most part). If I have learned anything through this experience it is to not take your health for granted. My cousins are coming down (with their two dogs) and I am hoping chemo doesn't knock me down too much so I can still participate! I am just extremely excited for all of us to be together!
I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday. No matter what you are going through, there is always something to be grateful for. All the love to you all this week! I am thankful for all of you!
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