I had a bone scan and a CT scan on Monday. We met with my doctor this afternoon and learned that (thankfully...so thankfully) the scans were CLEAR!
My doctor walked in the room and the first words out of his mouth were "looks great!"! Then we high fived and he had to leave to take a phone call, so we got to process the info. While there was no reason to think that anything would show up, you truly never know. I had peace about it, but then would "go there" so it has been a long 3 days. I am excited that I can actually breathe and sleep tonight!! It is SUCH a weight off. I am more grateful than words can say.
So, now you may be wondering what comes next. While my role in the cancer world is now a lot smaller, I will never completely be out.
I will be scanned every 3 months for the first year (the bone and CT scan). Assuming those are all good, I will then move to be scanned every 6 months for the second and third year. After that, it becomes annually. My next set of scans will be in April!
I still have my port. My doctor recommends keeping it in for 6 months just incase I should ever need fluids or something. He said it truly is up to me, but I see no reason to rush it out. It will be another small procedure, so I would rather focus on feeling good and getting back on my feet anyway! Plus, winter clothes do a nice job of covering it! I don't really mind covering it up, but I do not love how it looks with tank tops. I may consider asking him if it is okay to take it out when it starts to warm up and tank tops become a thing again! In the meantime, it isn't bothering me so I will just leave it.
The port does have to be flushed every 6 weeks or so just to make sure it stays clean and doesn't become a source of infection. This will require a super quick visit to the clinic. I also will continue to get my lupron injections till at least March. This also requires a trip to the clinic, so I can hopefully do both these things on one visit!
So while I won't be going to the clinic as often or for treatment, I will still be spending some time there! I am okay with that though. I have made a lot of friends there and I will be excited for them to see me well!
Like I said above, my next office visit/scans will be in April. It will be SO weird to not see my doctor for that long!! A good weird though, for sure.
Until then, I will still be busy!! I am taking one online course this semester. I start PT back up on Monday. I am currently scheduled for three days a week through early February, but that could change. My doctor said today he isn't even sure what the PT will do to me! I still walk slowly and with a bit of a limp, but it has come so far! I think it will be good still just to strengthen it a bit more. I would like to be able to walk fast/run again at some point!
I have my trimonthly (is that a thing?) ECHO on Tuesday. Assuming all is well, I will have one more this summer. One of the chemo drugs can cause issues months later, so they do one 6 months after you finish chemo. Hopefully all is still good there!
I have always been lucky to know and keep in touch with lots of teachers. One of them is my brother's kindergarten teacher/my old boss/my mom's friend. She teaches at one of the local elementary schools and has offered me to come volunteer in her class! I don't get any credit for school, but look forward to it as something to do! I plan to start as soon as I have a bit more hair on my head...just to avoid having to answer a million kids' questions (shallow I know, but hey I know how kids are!).
I will also be spending some MUCH needed time with the sweet kids I usually nanny in the summer! We have A LOT of time to make up for and I am SO excited!! I saw them last week for the first time since November and the little girl said "I am glad you are back!!!!". Me too, me too.
I also have some ideas of things I would like to do to contribute to the world of young adult cancer. I have big ideas, just need to figure out how to execute them! I have said all along that I want to make something good come of this. There was just too much suffering for there not to be good.
Other than that, there are a few little trips my mom and I would like to take. I really just plan on embracing FEELING GOOD and being free of doctors or worries about counts. I have to remember what it is like to be a well person again! It may take some time, but I am excited to have the chance!! I am also SO excited for my hair to be coming in! My head is pretty fuzzy, but doesn't cover yet. I am waiting for my eyebrows and eyelashes to return...I am not a fan of my face without them!
I feel like I can actually celebrate now. The end of chemo doesn't mean anything if the scans are not good, but now I know they are so we can celebrate! My family and I are going out to dinner tomorrow and then who knows what else I will do. My birthday (21st!) Is in 2 weeks so that is exciting too.
I did errands by myself for the first time since the summer last week! I am also back to driving around. It feels SO good to have that back. Little by little, normal is coming back.
I am not gonna lie, I was totally terrified to find out the scan results today. I don't think that feeling will ever go away. I have no reason to ever think anything, but you seriously just never know. I got a bit sad last night thinking about how this is my life now. I do not wanna have to stress like that about whether this cancer could return. I am so scared I will get used to normal, only to have it ripped away again. I want my old life back...the one where I did not have to worry about scans. I hope this feeling gets better with time, it wouldn't surprise me if it does.
I am so so so thankful to have gotten good news today (and all along really). I know there are so many who don't get good news, and I do not take it for granted. I was so prepared to hear anything at all today. My thoughts and prayers continue to go to all the people who are going through this awful disease. It truly sucks and is so unfair. I will never understand why some have it so much worse than others. I hope that everyone gets their "January 13ths" and that those that don't have peace. Cancer still sucks!
I also hope and pray for many more days like today for me. May I feel this relieved after every scan result!
Thank you so much for all the love and support over these last almost ten months. We truly would not have made it without you. I hope you will still keep up here and please let me know if you ever need anything.
I will end with words I have waited since March 16 to say:
I AM CANCER FREE. I BEAT CANCER. I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR.
So much love to you all!
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