I feel completely at peace. I don't know if it is because of all the prayers/thoughts/wishes being sent for me (because I know there is a lot of them! and I am SOOO grateful), but whatever it is seems to be working. Anyone who knows me knows I worry about everything. Literally almost everything. I have not once felt one ounce of worry over this situation. I feel confident in my doctors, my treatment, and in all my support. I am not scared. My only goal is to get better, and I will do whatever it takes to do that.
If I find myself with the time and energy, I would love to send out thank you notes to every single person. To anyone who has taken the time to text, call, post on FB, whatever....THANK YOU! I mean that from the bottom of my heart. The fact that people are taking time out of their day and lives to think of me means the world.
The only thing I can think to do is pay it forward. Whenever I get the chance I will. Something good will come from this, I know it. I don't know what that is yet, but I will have plenty of time to think about it. I don't think God gives people bad things, like cancer, to teach them anything. I was perfectly fine in my life before this happened. I do think that bad situations happen so good things can happen later. And they will.
I have always believed that you get back what you put into the world. If you are nice to people the world is nice back to you. I still believe that is true. I want to encourage everyone to just be nice. Spread kindness. The world is too dark and scary, there is no reason to add anything more to it. You never know what people are going through. When I was driving in my car yesterday, do you think anybody knew what I was dealing with? Or do you think the people at Burger King knew that my parents were there while their daughter was packing up stuff from her apartment so she could go back home and have cancer treatments? The answer is, no. I am not excusing bad behavior, but there's no reason to be rude. You just never know.
As I mentioned above, I went down to Columbia yesterday to pack up some stuff from my apartment that I will need. I will have to go back and get more (I couldn't fit all my clothes in my car...and I can't stand to be without my clothes!). It was hard. Really really hard. Did I ever think I would be packing up my apartment halfway through the last semester to go back home for something like this? NEVER. And it sucked. It does suck. But I will be back. Even if just for a night or something. I am not losing everything!
On the bright side, I got to see some of my best friends and it was great. They had surprises for me, which was totally unnecessary, but super appreciated. I will now have plenty to eat, read, and watch which is good! I look forward to seeing them again soon because it felt good. I got to forget about all this for an hour. When I got home, my cousins had sent me a box of chocolate covered strawberries (my favorite!), which was a great surprise after a not-so-great afternoon. My aunt is currently driving down to spend some time, which is exciting. I am all about wanting to see people and distractions right now!
I don't want to become secluded from the outside world. I want to know what is happening (I mean I get a pretty good idea because I am always checking some social media), but don't be scared to tell me what is going on in your life. Sure if you wanna text and ask about mine, I will answer, but I will be SUPER happy to discuss other things! This is not becoming the center of my world, and I don't want it to become the center of anyone else's either. I am still the same person. I still like to talk about all the things I did before.
I am about to shower and head to my scans. Prayers that we receive good news are very appreciated! It is going to be a long day, but I will be one day closer to being done with this!
Thanks again everyone! I love you all and you all mean the world to me!
Who better to encourage niceness than my love Harry Styles? :)
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